A Taste of Norway...uncensored

       I have traveled to a few countries, experienced the different cultures and I know that if you don’t try the food, you don’t get the full experience.  Of course there are many other aspects to fully embracing other cultures – trying to learn the language, using the money, not following the tourist swarm, taking off the fannypacks, etc, etc– but tasting every different bit of food possible has always been one of my top priorities when traveling.  I never want to leave a country and wonder what a dish or a drink that I saw tasted like.  Marrying a Norwegian woman has definitely ensured that I wont be a tourist in Norway for long, but I want to keep up my practices of embracing the culture so that all of my friends and family back in Cali can have a taste of Norway.  So, I decided to commit an entire blog entry to Norwegian food, from my adventurous perspective. 

I have been wanting to write about the food here for sometime now, coincidentally Bergen’s annual food festival and monthly farmer’s market offered many new experiences for my taste buds this weekend.  

I remember talking to Benedicte on Skype while I was still in America.  My cousin was leaving the house to go get a breakfast burrito before school at Orcutt Burger, it was a completely natural commodity for him, but Benedicte’s response was “Only in America can you afford to do that!”  A quick cheap bite to eat isn’t as accessible here.  Of coars, McDonald’s has infested Norway with its cheap fattening food as with the rest of the world, but other than that, going out to get something to eat several times a week isn’t practical.  

I enjoy hamburgers, as do most Americans.  In Norway the tastiest ones are sold at gas stations.  I know, my first thought of a gas station burger was leaning toward the unappetizing side also.  I thought that they would be worse than fast food because gas stations usually sell other inedible things, like oil, gas or nachos.  However, besides being rather expensive, about $16 US, I do enjoy them.  They are made when ordered and fresh vegetables are used.  They aren’t as fresh as In-N-Out, but they don’t feel like ten pounds of grease in your stomach afterwards either.  They come with the usual; lettuce, tomato, onion, cheese, but also with two extras: “hamburger dressing” – similar to our thousand island dressing but not so overpowering – and “sweet corn” – which is just canned yellow corn to me.  

While you have that peculiar sweet corn on your mind because its an odd addition to burgers, imagine it on your pizza or tacos as well.  I have been here for a few months now and eaten Tacos for dinner several times, so it seems more normal to me to have bright yellow corn my tacos.  But the first time I had heard of it I remember having Benedicte repeat herself when she told me that it was one of the most important ingredients for her in tacos.  

Taco (tacos for dinner)

Before I go any further about Norwegian tacos (or taco as they call it) I want to make the point clear that I LIKE them very much.  I don’t mean to sound like a hater when I say they that they seem slightly manufactured.  In America, kids often get little plastic mock kitchen sets as toys.  They have a plastic sink and microwave and countertop.  They also come with an assortment of perfectly decorated plastic food items – banana, chicken leg, piece of pizza.  I remember I saw a plastic taco in one of them as a kid, and I cannot help to think of that every time we have Norwegian tacos.  It cracks me up.  They are colorful with brown seasoned meat, red bell pepper, yellow corn, white sour cream, green lettuce, tomato, white cheese and cucumber, each having its own specified spot on the table and seemingly in your taco as well.  The “soft tacos” look more like rolled burritos, but cannot be because I haven’t laid eyes on refried beans since I have been here; while the crunchy tacos look like TacoBell tacos in their rather bright yellow pre-shaped, stacked and packaged shells.  They good and are satisfying to eat, but they taste like a white person made them compared to what I am used to coming from Southern California.  

What I think is so funny, is that all the packaged taco stuff – seasoning, shells, tortillas and guacamole – is produced by a company called Santa Maria (for those of you who don’t know, my home city in California is named Santa Maria).  Apparently my city produces many taco necessities along with any type of spice you may ever need in cooking.  

Frokost (breakfast)

Bread and butter then you choose what you’d like on top.  I don’t know if it’s just a Foldnes style breakfast, but the table is scattered with different types of toppings; cheeses, spreads, boiled eggs if it’s saturday, mayo in a tube, jams, salami.  Warm breakfast is almost unheard of, unless it’s a special day and pancakes are served.  But erase the image you have in your mind of thick fluffy IHOP style pancakes.  These ones are more like my Uncle Tony’s pancakes when he uses buttermilk instead of regular milk and they come out thin and moist.  Maple syrup is one of the many internationally adopted foods that isn’t used seriously, so the pancakes are served with butter and sprinkled sugar – or with sour cream and jam like I had at the food festival.  I had a small surprise when I thought I was putting whipped cream on my pancake then bit into sour cream.  I miss my HappyStack at IHOP but I also enjoy Norwegian pancakes very much.  

And basically the same things that are eaten for breakfast are also eaten for lunch.

Middag (dinner)

Dinner is when the heat gets turned up.  And its usually meat and potatoes.  Now, there is no use in discussing all the regular modern things that Norwegians eat for dinner like pasta or pizza – it’s the same as in America.  But, what is interesting are the dishes that have been around for hundreds of years, like Raspeballer.  

The closest thing to raspeballer in America that I can think of is dumplings, but baseball sized, made from potatoes and flour and other unknown substances.  They get cooked in an oven cake pan with turnip pieces and carrots and come out with a soupy liquid around them just like dumplings.  Salted and boiled lambs meat is traditionally eaten with them, which is close tasting to corned beef in texture, color and taste.  I think this may just be another Foldnes thing, but we always have sliced sausage and sliced bacon pieces as well.

  Kjøttkaker is another tradition dinner meal that gave me a good laugh the first time I came to Norway.  Literally it is meat cakes but pronounced it is (and excuse my language but you have to know) shit caca.  It definitely doesn’t taste like the second one!  They look like dark brown meatballs served with a same colored gravy.  And I repeat, it definitely tastes like meat and not the other thing.  Apparently they are made with ground beef and flour.  My wife wont eat anyone else Raspeballer or Kjøttkaker except her fathers because, and I quote her, “no one else’s comes close to my dad’s”.  He is a phenomenal cook that spoils us everytime we come back to Bergen.  Looks like I have a lot of learning to do when it comes to the Norwegian kitchen!

I don’t have a favorite Norwegian meal, I have three!  And the third is a white rice porridge called Grøtt.  When Benedicte was growing up, they had it every saturday for dinner.  It’s more like something I would eat for breakfast back home.  Once you’ve slopped a bunch into your bowl, you scoop on some butter and sprinkle on some cinnamon, sugar and raisins.  Apparently it looked “disgusting” when I mix it all together, so I quickly learned how Foldnes people do it by slowly eating a moat around the center puddle of melted butter.  And only to dip each bite into the butter and not let the butter run everywhere.  To me, all that matters is that it makes it way to my screaming stomach.  

Oh, and I cannot forget to mention the fun tradition of the grøtt dinner every Christmas Eve.  One almond is hidden in the pot of grøtt and whoever gets it get a surprise; usually a little pig shaped marzipan treat in Christmas packaging.  Once again, I don’t know if it is a Foldnes thing, but it will be a Betancourt thing for our kids!

Drikker (drinks)

Even though Norway is the number one coffee consuming nation per capita in the world, I can’t help but be unsatisfied with their coffee.  It just doesn’t compare to Starbucks back home.  Even the only Starbucks in the country, which is an expensive 179,- kroner flight-train ride away, doesn’t taste quite like American Starbucks.  I used to not drink coffee after 12 or 1 or sometime in the afternoon, but after being here with Benny for two weeks back in March, I now drink it all the way into the dark of the night.  She is happy to have “converted me”.  

Soda is also a sorry subject for me.  The most popular one and my wifes favorite is Pepsi Max.  I have never tasted Pepsi Max back in the States, so I can’t say if it tastes the same, but I can say it tastes like a typical sugar substituted soda.  Of coarse they have Coca-cola, and even though it has a slighly different taste, I enjoy it.  There are two particular sodas that are interesting enough to mention, but sadly they both taste like...well I’ll let you do the judging.

The first is a red “Christmas soda” they everyone is crazy about during Christmas time.  Apparently they keep selling it a little further past Christmas time each year, but that doesn’t make me like it any more.  Back home we have a store called Food Maxx.  It’s a giant grocery store that sells almost anything edible.  They sell the best name brand quality, a kind of middle quality and then a crappy quality (I think worse than Firstprice here in Norway).  They used to have a soda called Big Red and it tasted like old expired candy in liquid form.  And I am sorry to all the Norwegians reading this, but that is what your Christmas soda tastes like to me.  However, along with all the other important Norwegian stuff I don’t like to eat or drink, I am going to keep drinking Christmas Soda until I like it.

The other soda is Hansa’s Champion Brus.  I remember when I was 4 or 5 years old, we had a pink child’s medicine in the fridge that was bubble gum flavored.  I liked it’s sweet taste so much that I used to sneak in and drink it straight from the bottle.  Now when I think about it, it must have tasted awful to any normal adult.  If Champion Brus was pink instead of gold, I would think I was 5 again.

This is fiskekake, like kjøttkake but made with fish instead of beef.

This is regular grøtt.  With and without the toppings.

This is sour cream grøtt (rømme grøtt).  It was at the food festival.  I saw it and was weirded out by all the butter, Mamsen saw my face when I saw it and got some comic relief.

This was a delicious homemade tomato soup that a friend made for our small group.  Just wanted to point out how Norwegians eat eggs in unusual ways – cold scrambled eggs, or in soup, or with a spoon.  But I guess the idea of  boiling them, painting them and hiding them in the yard for your children is odd too.  

Im sure they sell this somewhere in America as whale.  It tasted like smoked salmon, just not as strong.

See, Norwegians eat regular food too.  This is my wife's favorite, and I have say probably the best steak I have ever had.  

Mamsen's plum-milk dessert; infamous to my wife and brother-in-law, delicious to me.

This is what I know a Norwegian breakfast looks like.

Brown Cheese.   The one on the right is the common one that many Norwegians have asked me if I like it, and I do.  It is the one I brought home last time for some of my family to try.  The one of the left is geitost (goat cheese).  My in-laws bought some at the festival for me to try.  It's so strong that I feel like my taste buds are being punched in the mouth when I eat it.  I guess its taste accompanies its price at 175.- NOK.

Raspeballer!

Santa Maria style, only Norway doesn't have Tri-tip.

Warning! The next three pictures may be disturbing to some, if young children are reading, you may want to turn their eyes. ;)

At the food festival, we saw a sign that said Smalahovetunet.  My Norwegian isn't that good, so when Mamsen wanted to play a joke on me and ask me if I wanted some, all along knowing that I will try just about anything, I said sure why not...

My Norwegian isn't that good yet.  I walked over the the stand and peered into the wooden barrel to see what Smalahovetunet was exactly....












Goat heads!
Dried and salted goat heads!

The tongue is supposed to be the delicacy of the head.  I tasted a little piece like the one on the edge of the table from behind the jaw.  It wasn't as scary as you think.  

So, now you have a little idea of what Norway tastes like and what I think of it all...

Thanks for reading :)