Matthew in Norway: June 2012

Benedicte and I are now at her family home in Bergen, the second largest city in Norway. Their beautiful home is about a 30 minute drive through tunnels and across a big suspension bridge from the city. Its on an island called Sotra about ten meters from the ocean; literally their backyard runs into the sea. The neighborhood is a peaceful group of island homes of all different colors; red, yellow, white, green, blue. The view from her house out onto the little neighborhood fjord makes an American feel like he is spending thousands of dollars to be at a gorgeous summer vacation spot. Benedicte has many many fond memories of growing up here that I am excited to learn about, I also am excited to begin my own memories here.

Yesterday, I went out to the sea on a row boat. A family member of hers has a few boats and said I could use them whenever I want. I have been dreaming of having a kayak here for the last few months, but a rowboat will work just fine. Arvid, the owner of the boat, and I went out and explored. We rowed to an island and got off and hiked. I learned what a blueberry bush looks like, so in a few weeks when they are ripe I can go experience picking them. From what I know, most Norwegian kids grow up picking these tasty little berries. We also fished, didn’t catch much, but he didn’t take me to the spot where he has caught several in the last few days. He showed me some places to get good clams and shellfish and he taught me a little about which ones are the best and how to get them. While Benny has work five days a week this summer, I will be needing to keep myself occupied, so among studying Norwegian, helping paint the house, doing other chores to help out, I will also be exploring the nearby ocean on that wooden rowboat.

We took the train back from Oslo to Bergen so that I (and Benny) could see more of what Norway looks like during the summer. It was beautiful. One thing I really like is how colorful the buildings are painted, in the city and out in the country. All the little cottages are colorful, even when miles and miles from the nearest city.

On June 28th, 2012, yes this weeks, Benedicte and I are getting married. We are going to the courthouse to do it. Her mom and dad will be there, along with her best friend for her witness and her brother for my witness. Once we are married we can apply for a permanent residence visa for me so that I can find a job and start working. Normally this would be a process consisting of only a couple of weeks, but because Benedicte is a student we must involve the immigration department here in Norway, UDI. UDI is known to take FOREVER on everything and anything. So we honestly do not know when I will be able to start working. Next summer we will have our big wedding, with guests and her white dress. She will change her name then and we will buy rings then. We are very excited about this.

We have an amazing support system here in Bergen with her large, loving family. Back in Oslo we also have a good support system with her many many friends, both single people and young married couples. It seems like we were surrounded by couples who encourage us and whom we can share our relationship with. We definitely do not feel like we are alone in this drastic life change. We are ready to spend the rest of our lives with each other, and we want every loved one to be a part of it.

She is so beautiful.

This was on the spot with the highest altitude train ride to Bergen, 1,200 meters. Even during the summer, some places in Norway snow.

The suspension bridge connecting the island Sotra to the mainland Bergen.

Downtown Bergen during the summer excitement.

This is a view of my soon-to-be parent-in-laws house. Notice it was taken at 11:30 at NIGHT.

The wooden rowboat I am so thankful for. Im looking forward to getting good at rowing.

I am getting used to the 20 hours of daylight during the summer. This was just before midnight.

Us at sunset.

My first fish caught in Norway.

Jim the Cat wanted my fish.

We are engaged! Benedicte said yes to me on her birthday last Sunday night. We had a romantic dinner at the very nice Holmekollen Restaurant near Oslo. Holmenkollen is a neighborhood in the hills outside of Oslo. Behind the restaurant is a recreation area with famous ski jump used in the Olympics. I chose Holmekollen for the date because we both had only been there one other time and it was with each other, so all of our memories of the place were with each other. After dinner we walked up to a little wooded area. There a beautiful view of the city, harbor and a near perfect rainbow joined us. I wanted to create a romantic time for her and the view couldn’t have helped me more. She of coarse said yes. It was almost a rhetorical question for me to ask her to marry me because neither of us have any doubt in our minds that we are going to spend the rest of our lives with each other.

I have been here in Norway for a week now. Our plan, Benedicte’s and mine, is that I take one year off of school and spend it here with her as she finishes her last year of nursing school. I have already proposed and the next step is marriage. For some people that is an intimidating subject, but not for us, it exciting and a necessity in life. We are going to get married as soon as possible in a court house so that I can get a permanent residence visa and start working. Next summer, 2013, we will have a formal Norwegian wedding, she will have graduated with her Bachelors degree. In the last few months we have explored every path of decisions; staying apart for the year, taking a leave of absence from Cal Poly University and then move here, asking for a deferral of acceptance from Cal Poly, and so on. We decided that this is the best choice for us as a couple. It was extremely hard for us to be 6,000 miles apart. We had many people tell us that school is the most important thing and that we need to finish first, before starting our relationship, but we just don’t see it that way. Anytime anyone asks me what I want to do with my life, I tell them that I am going for a Bachelors degree in Biomedical Engineering, but I honestly do not know what I want to do with it. What I do know I am passionate about is that I want to one day be a good husband and a great father. She knows this about me, and she has the same perspective on life. The most important thing in life for her is to put family first. And that is why we made the decision for me to move to Norway and start our life together.

We have been so blessed with a good support system. My family and friends, you who are probably reading this, have been supportive along with her family here in Norway. She has a close knit loving family that has accepted me as a member. Her family loves and cares for us without hesitation. Although this is the biggest and most adventurous move I have ever made, I do not think I would be able to commit to it if her family was not here supporting us. Thank you everyone, family or friend, who has support Benedicte and myself in this decision to be together.

We are currently working on the paperwork with the government here to get married. Once we are married I will be able to start working and have an income other than hers. I do not know what I will do yet, but a few ideas are a waiter, working in a kindergarden with children, or try to find an engineering firm that would be interested in hiring me as an intern or as a similar position. We have been told by a few people that once we are married, the government with give me 300 hours of free Norwegian classes. My personal goal is that I learn the language and be fluent by next summer. We already planned that I take a Norwegian course and that we just pay for it together, so hearing that the government will give it free to get me incorporated into the culture, is a blessing.

A little bit about Norway...

It is beautiful. We are in Oslo now, which is where Benny goes to school. This summer we will stay at her parents house in the city that she grew up in called Bergen. Oslo is beautiful to me, but according to her and her friends from Bergen, it doesn’t compare to Bergen. Bergen is the most beautiful city I have ever been in. Norwegian cities are just beautiful to me. The architecture is the first aspect that grabs my attention. Along with the unique colorful buildings, the artful statues scattered around the city causes me to feel that Im almost walking in Disney Land as I walk the downtown streets of Bergen. Its quite romantic to walk just about anywhere. Maybe most Norwegians wouldn’t agree, but to me, one who grew up in America and who appreciates art very much, I feel like I am spoiled to be here. Oslo has many parks to visit. Each one reminding me of what a King’s garden looks like in a typical colonial movie. We walk on carefully placed cobblestone streets and sidewalks constantly. The cities are laced with green trees and plants in the summer and laid with pure white blankets of snow in the winter. Not only do I have the most beautiful woman in the world to be with now, but I get to enjoy this country’s beauty everyday also :)

I have to say that the cold weather will be an adjustment from the Central Coast of California. I will probably get tired of the cold, but eventually I will learn to love it; I’m good at that. Public transportation is constant here in Oslo. A bus comes every 5 minutes in front of Benedicte’s apartment. I am looking forward to learning how to use that transportation system because I wont be driving much.

I know that I will miss California because I grew up there, but this is an adventure and I love learning new things. It makes me feel like I am really spending this life well. I also know that I will miss all of my friends and especially my loving family. I miss you all already. This was a decision I had to make for my life. It was a “no-brainer” but it wasn’t an easy sacrifice to leave all of you. Now Benedicte is the most important person in my life and my biggest responsibility is to take care of her. I love her more than anything.