The Impossible Appeal

It has been over a month now since we were granted a family immigration visa for me to stay here in Norway with my wife.  Benedicte and I thought getting married would be an absolute solution at getting a visa, but after being denied by UDI’s reason of “just marriage is not enough reason for us to grant you a family immigration permit”...we began preparing for separation again.  That was not an option to us though.  I gave up my acceptance to my dream university and major – Cal Poly SLO and Biomedical Engineering – just so that we wouldn’t have to be apart any longer.  So, before we bent over and allowed UDI to ship me home, we poured our hearts into 17 pages of appeal. 

We collected 80 signatures, gave reason after reason and document after document to why I would be a good citizen in Norway and even used a few sentences of their own law against them to change their decision to separate us.  We knew that we didn’t fulfill their strongest requirement of Benedicte making at least 245,000 NOK a year (about $44,000).  Everyone around us was telling us that it wouldn’t work.  We heard that the signature collecting was a waste of time and that UDI didn’t care about how we felt or the love we shared.  I stood before friends, church and classmates at Norwegian lessons asking for signatures and saying that I will do everything I can to stay with my wife.  According to the facts, we knew that 5,000 miles of separation was eminent, but we still had a this ‘foolish’ faith in us.

In the three weeks it took to process the appeal, I remember praying ever night after my wife fell asleep.  I half prayed half questioned God why he would let us be separated.  Since I decided to follow Christ when I was 17, I haven’t questioned my faith so seriously.

A few weeks after we turned in our essay of an appeal, I decided to call UDI.  I was preparing my stomach to hear the date in which I needed to leave.  I had to ask the man on the other side of the phone 4 times to check his information because I literally could not believe the words he spoke.  He said it so casually and meaninglessly, but I will never forget those unmistakable words  “uhhh, yes...I see here that you have been granted a family immigration visa...”

That moment I was truly speechless.  I almost couldn’t tell the man to have a nice day.  My eyes filled with such a rush of emotion from every place inside my body it was like a dam breaking.  There is crying from joy and then there is what I did.  I was too happy to cry, scream, laugh or even move.  I just fell to my knees in awe of God’s kindness.  I knelt there for ten minutes probably in the solitary silence of my room.  Benedicte was still at work having a difficult time finding purpose in what she was doing because her husband was soon to be away from her for such an inappropriate and avoidable reason.  When my voice finally came back to me I screamed and jumped and celebrated.  Our roommate Sandra was the definition of a good friend that day as she went out and bought balloons, cake, ice cream and all other happy things to celebrate with us.  Benedicte didn’t believe it either when she got home.  I don’t even want to begin to describe how hard she cried.  She almost got mad at me just because she thought I was lying. 

The official letter from UDI arrived about a week later.  It translated something like “...we find no reason to separate the couple...”  What?  That does not happen and makes no sense.  People have to leave the country everyday because they do not fulfill UDI’s requirements.  Visas are not easy to get here, and family immigration visas are the most difficult because once you have them, you can’t be denied ever again.

The surprise has worn off a bit now, but I remember even 3 weeks after we received the good news, we still found ourselves in a bit of a fairytale realizing that we actually have the visa. 

Life brings circumstances like this that make us realize how unfair it can get.  I found myself broken, tired, with everything I wanted out of my control and questioning the God I believe in.  How could anyone separate young, fervently in love newlyweds?  I found myself sitting on the cold ground deep at the bottom of the dry well of exhaustion.  I know we have all found ourselves sitting there exhausted with life at some point; whether in our relationships, work, finances, home-life, whatever.  I cannot, and never will be able to, give an answer to why life is so unfair, but I can say that I have faith that Jesus Christ really is my Savior because I know he helps me when I sit at the bottom of that cold dry well.  

If anyone wants to read the 17 pages we wrote to UDI and see how we pleaded our case, I can email it to you if you contact me.  I want people to know of this goodness that I have found in God.

I wrote these words to UDI:  "I will end this appeal with a picture of my wife and I.  This photo of us is just one small glimpse of our beautiful love.  Please give attention to our lives and our marriage.  Please honor us and our marriage by allowing us to stay together."